REVIEW: Scar 3D
Scar 3D (18) Directed by Jed Weintrob
You're a hot, perky, young blonde actress with a winning charismatic smile and no small amount of good looks, so what challenge would you want to take on?
And more importantly, how do you follow up appearing in the pre-teen sanitised Hannah Montana TV nerfdom?
How about starring in an orgy of 3D torture horror, which comes on like a Saw/Hostel/Friday 13th fusion?
That's exactly the career route that talented young starlet Kirby Bliss Blanton has taken, appearing as all-round USA sweet teen girlfriend Olympia in Scar 3D.
Scar also stars 'horror veteran' Angela 'May' Bettis, as Joan Burrows, an emotionally and physically scarred wreck who suffered at the hands of a psycho nutjob back in the day (his nasty MO is that he abducts two friends and tortures each in turn until one breaks and tells him to kill their friend, which he then does).
The villain back then was freaky funeral home director Bishop, but when Joan returns to the town for Olympia's prom it seems that Bishop is back too and the teen population start to have a very bad time of it.
It's all very standard slasher guff, even if it is filmed in the fancy new 3D (which does divert attention from how ropey the script and plot is for a while) by giving the audience such sights as topless 3D scenes and 'quick, duck, or that spray of blood will splatter all over you' moments.
Is Scar 3D the sickest, most utterly hardcore 3D horror torture on the block?
Well, yes, it is, but that's only because it's the only one in 3D, otherwise it's just another wannabe to throw on the 'don't bother' pile.
Scar certainly goes out of its way to be unpleasant – I mean who wants to see tongues being chopped out and the soles of feet razor bladed after countless 'me too' torture porn flicks have recently gone there?
Scar doesn't do anything much worse or even vaguely ingenious in its macabre machinations, almost as if the screen writers' only aim was to copy rather than innovate.
So belly button rings get yanked, staple guns add new piercings and scalpels are applied liberally, it really isn't nice and worse still, it really isn't very well done.
Sometimes you have to look beyond the obvious razzle dazzle – in this case nubile teens frolicking and then dying in 3D – because it's a smokescreen to distract from the mediocre offering overall.
Scar 3D is for serious gore hounds and novelty horror seekers only.
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Thursday 23 May 2013
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