Ben’s World - Crisis management, moustache quotes, and mississipiss... Oh, forget it

Saturday morning, 3am - A teenager is stabbed at the university campus in Polhill Avenue.

Monday morning, 9am - Every journalist in the county knows about the stabbing from the police.

Monday afternoon - Rumour mill has hit overdrive, with various conflicting stories about what has happened.

Tuesday 11am - The police press office release further information. The student is still in hospital, with injuries to their chest and lung.

And finally, at 3pm on Tuesday, this from the university press office: “We don’t have anything to tell you right at the moment...”

After a tortured process of several emails, and calling the press office nine times, we were finally able to coax them into stating that when there are incidents like this (you know, things like attempted murder), “the safety of our students and staff is of paramount importance to us”.

If any parents or students have had a more positive experience of the university following this attempted murder, we’d be happy to hear about it.

> Meeting the new boyfriend of a girl you once dated.

It’s a bit like spelling the word Mississippi. You’re not really sure what you’re doing - but, whatever happens, you’re pretty sure that you’re going to get it wrong.

If you just shrug your shoulders and act like you don’t care at all, it’s like spelling it ‘Misisipi’.

If you wax lyrical about what a great bloke he is, you’ve basically spelt ‘Missipissipisil’i - you don’t know when you started getting it wrong, but there’s no getting away from the fact that you look like an idiot.

This is how it panned out for me.

“Yeah, he seems nice,” (Is it spelt with two ‘s’ and one ‘p’?)

“I mean you’re nice, he’s nice. So that’s really great,” (No, there’s at least one pair of s’s. Maybe they’re both double-s’s. I’m thinking too hard about spelling - quick, keep talking)

“Erm, I’m waffling, I don’t mean to keep saying ‘nice’. He’s a great bloke, really witty. Good looking. So... that’s great. Nice,” (No, there’s definitely a couple of p’s)

And so on.

He was a nice bloke though.

(Looking back, I used the word ‘nice’ too much. Ah well.)

> Moustache quote of the week - this time it’s an old classic that Hayley O’Keeffe’s gran used to say:

“A kiss without a moustache is like strawberries without cream.”

I like that idea. But my Movember charity moustache is now starting to tickle my nose. And it still looks ridiculous.

> And finally, Robert Bruce Middle School.

It’s nice when you meet someone who you like, and they turn out to be good at their job.

I liked Ursula Byrne from the moment I met her. I liked her a lot more when people who I know, and who work at the school, told me how good she was.

Since Ursula took over the Kempston school at the beginning of the year it all appears to have been continually getting better and better. The latest Ofsted report seems to confirm that.

There’s still a long way to go, but the Ofsted inspectors seem convinced she can get the school to where she wants it to be.

Full credit too, to Ursula for being prepared to shout about the school’s successes. I might be biased - well, I am a journalist - but if you don’t tell people that you’re doing well then how will they know?

And when you finish at Robert Bruce, Ursula, you could always give the University of Bedfordshire a few tips on news management...