Mid Bedfordshire by-election: Former mayor is Monster Raving Loony Party

Bedfordshire Minx Ann Kelly is the Official Monster Raving Loony Party candidate for next month’s Mid Bedfordshire by-election.

Ann has lived in Mid Beds for 34 years and this will be the fourth time she has contested the seat.

“I’ve run before to upset Nadine [Dorries] which worked, and the party asked me to stand again,” she said.

“I love all the electioneering, I’m hoping to get votes in three figures this time. It’s normally a huge landslide towards the Conservatives, but this time I think its a lot to be different, it could be anyone’s.”

The party’s website said that if elected, Ann would not have a party whip and can say what she wants, adding she would be 100 per cent behind her constituents and will not do deals.

“I’ll be very approachable, and if I can’t fix anything, I’ll tell them straight. I can’t fix anything, I will try my best,” she said.

Ann said she is against all the building that’s going on in the area and she’ll fight to help the GP surgeries.

She has vowed not to appear on any television program involving jungles and eating bush tucker.

Other party policies include a public auction of honours, kangaroo courts being presided by actual kangaroos (conducted on the hop), and setting all the clocks late by at least ten minutes to sort out the train delays.

Also, if in power, the party would replace Border Force employees with GP receptionists as “this will dramatically reduce the number of people getting in”.

Ann has twice been Flitwick mayor, as well as a school governor and foster carer.

“Just don’t spoil your ballot paper, vote for me,” Ann said.

The Mid Bedfordshire by-election will be held on October 19, and 13 candidates are standing to replace the former MP, Nadine Dorries.